WHAT I'VE FOUND OUT SO FAR

 

Croziers blog has been a bit quiet. Well there has been quite a lot of processing going on.

Greece's second lockdown began about 10 days after Mr Pa Crozier passed away and life got much more than a bit solitary. The first thing Mrs Ma Crozier did on returning to the little stone house was to blitz the cleaning and haul the furniture around to make it seem like it wasn't the same place. A vain ambition but cupboards were turned out, things changed around, shelves cleaned, floors mopped and lots of energy expended on housework that had been neglected in the last weeks when palliative care had taken over our lives.

The little Anglican church barely had time to hold a few normal services before it was locked back down to Zoom services, but it was great that a weekly time with others in our solitary fox holes could link up and think about the bigger picture. In the corner of the workbench of the kitchen, a lovely framed photo taken by a friend in the village has found a permanent spot, together with a tall prayer candle (replaced every few days) and a little list of friends and family which got a bit longer as the time progressed. One of our British in Greece ladies sounded the alarm that her husband had got the virus and was in hospital, sedated, ventilated, she was terrified and, for a while unable to be with him for weeks. We grouped together to surround her with our love and support, I even had some background advice to message her with about recovery from induced comas and life in ICU. We have just heard that they are now through the worst, out of rehabilitation and allowed home. Such great news. Then Maria, the other half of Nigel who helped us so gallantly in K's last weeks, had an episode which meant she was in hospital with a brain haemorrhage and Nigel was not able to be with her. Many weeks later, after a flight to Athens and two operations there, she too is back home going through rehabilitation to move and get around again also. An English friend from our village has gone through the loss of his dog after a good long while. These bereavements seem harder in solitary. Messages from the UK and locally have made the little prayer list into quite a sizeable one, so quiet time for prayer has been a kind of healing in its way too. Even alone, we are not alone but I have a way to go yet.

I have spent a small fortune on candles and think I have cleared the stock from all the local supermarket shelves of tealights and large red prayer candles. When the Christmas tree came down, some of the twinkly lights were reorganised in other places to keep some light shining through the dark winter nights. My neighbours must think I am a bit deranged. Our virtual coffee morning on Messenger continues every Thursday, but it is getting more and more difficult to remember when Thursday is and many of us forget!

So. What to do, when your 'reason for being' over the previous seven years is no longer there to care for? Care for oneself, I suppose.

Mrs Ma Crozier is taking her multivits, making sure to cook one good, hot meal every day. Get the nastiest household chores done as early as possible. If the sun is out in the middle of the day, a lovely long walk, preferable within sight of the sea and a pocket sized sketch book on hand to try and splodge a nice vista or pretty landscape. Painting, jigsaws, and making memory bears has also been therapeutic whilst tv non-stop for background company. The entire series 1 – 9 of Cold Feet DVDs was great therapy. There was also a couple of on line art classes, but the choir on line was too hard to do as it was reminiscent of K hearing all the practices from bed every evening and the recordings being released too late for him to hear the finished product. I sent off for the EP but I can't bear to listen to it.

My one permitted daily outing for food shopping is a brief affair, but as supplies of lovely fresh fruit and veg are available everywhere, the outing is very speedy and washing of the goodies on return home in soapy, bleachy water is still going on. It would be sad to be like a fighter pilot shot down on the last day of the War. We will still need to be on our guard for a few months yet – even if we are lucky enough to get a vaccine jab. Without the option of a nice cafe or taverna for a rest stop, outings are a bit bleak on your own. 'Always winter and never Christmas' comes to mind, but fair's fair. The Greek government have gone all out to keep us safe. This is so reassuring. The chaotic manoeuvring in the UK less so.

Mr Crozier once said that I didn't realise all the little jobs he did around the house, but I do now! Even in his last winter he tried his best to keep the log burner going and I do have to do a tour of the house to ensure that everything is working OK or switched off. It was good to learn for sure that it is the immersion heater that plays up and knocks out all the electrics if there is too much on at once, so I have devised a morning routine to use it for an hour or two in the early morning while I make morning tea on the camping gas stove and wrap up in rugs or energetically sweep out the fireplace. So far, no blips. I now have to negotiate the novel situation of choosing four new tyres for the car and filling up the windscreen wiper bottle unaided. Thank heavens for Youtube. All the information is there!

We are assured of light at the end of the tunnel so stay safe and well. I look forward to huge hugs and a big family party at the end of all this. And a hair cut!